djsoliloquy: ([sp] eyebrow lift maneuver)
DJ ([personal profile] djsoliloquy) wrote2012-08-12 04:41 pm

[AC/Valve] crossover drabbles

tanya prompted for ac/valve a couple times!
[PG13, Altair and Malik | A couple Valve games get surprise new players]


Forms FORM-29827282-AC:
Scenario Stimulus Implementation
Addendum: «Response Account Name Needed»

It—she—was unhappy with their progress as though on general principle. For their part, the constrained nature of the chambers became claustrophobic within the first ten minutes.

Malik in particular raged, mostly at Altair’s unwarranted maneuvers in the early chambers. They probably had the right kind of minds for this—the kind that saw possibilities. After enough time dealing with Altair’s egotistic jackassery, it certainly came quite naturally to turn from cooperation to impeding each other in every conceivable way. And she was even more displeased after that.

Altair still broke the Aperture Science company record on the penultimate chamber—after popping his red portal over Malik’s blue and trapping Malik at the beginning of the testing area. “Oh. Again,” GLaDOS noted while Malik seethed. “The time record isn’t the only thing you’re trying to break, is it?”

“My portal was on that wall, damn you!” Malik snarled when Altair dragged himself back into the chamber. The elevators wouldn’t work without both of them, of course. “I put it there for a reason!”

Altair walked through his own portal, appearing on a ledge above Malik’s head. “And? I needed to put mine there. Yours was in the way.”

“You could have just used mine.” Malik stopped, dropping his portal device on the floor. “I demand a new testing partner!”

It had been a long day, if not more. Who knew how much time they’d actually spent down there. GLaDOS’s announcement system had an edge of annoyance to it. “I’m trying to be patient with the two of you, I really am.

“I mean it!”

An addendum to the Enrichment Center regulatory testing protocol on the non-changeability of test partners has not been added since the completion of the last test chamber,” she answered evenly, the intercom crackling with sharp agitation as Malik grabbed onto the wall. “What do you think you’re doing?

Apparently no past test subject had been capable or creative enough to think of just climbing their way out of the chambers.

Doors slammed shut, but by then they were both safely on the other side. The computerized voice followed them through: “Climbing around on the walls is not science.”

“Told you we should have gone with Black Mesa,” Altair muttered to Malik under his breath.

"Who said we should have gone with Black Mesa?" Malik snaMalik swings a pipe wrench around like a baseball bat when one of the creatures leaps at his face. But Altair only has a moment to admire his form before a larger beast bounds around the corner.

“It seems to be happening more frequently,” Altair says and unsticks his crowbar from the side of the now-dead creature’s… face, possibly. Malik walks up behind him and blinks at the thing on the floor with a marked lack of interest. “Does that make you uneasy too, or am I the only one?”

“Does what make me uneasy, exactly?” Malik’s frown pinches slightly around the corners of his eyes. “The turrets shooting at us? The military personnel that have no idea how to spell our last names, and who are also trying to shoot at us? That sorry excuse for a Black Ops assassin unit? How about the fact that out of all the scientists working on this experimental and extremely dangerous technology, none of them knows how to reheat their lunch in a microwave without exploding the food? Because I know you couldn’t possibly be referring to the aliens, Altair.”

“Oh. No, it isn’t that.” They fall into step and continue down the hallway, following the sound of active machinery deeper in the compound. “It’s the complex,” Altair says. “Have you noticed how many of the doors are locked? Even back in the main building, I mean.”

Malik grumbles. “That’s what you take issue with? Though I do agree this company is a death trap. We have established that, haven’t we? They must lose ten employees a week from the layout of the research facilities alone. No wonder they were hiring.”

“We never even attended MIT.”

You never attended MIT.”

The door at the end of the hallway is locked for no discernible reason, and they both turn to look at the air vent on the wall to their left. Altair stands back and sighs as Malik removes the vent cover. “It’s as though we’re being lead somewhere,” he says thoughtfully. “Like there’s only one possible path and the universe is conspiring to force us into taking it.”

“…what are you talking about? The lack of sleep has gone to your head.” Malik tosses the vent cover aside with a grunt. “Lucky for us someone left all these crates here. It makes it easier to climb inside, doesn’t it?”

Altair shudders. “It’s so linear. How can you stand it?”

Malik’s laugh echoes back through the vent as he climbs inside. “This isn’t the worst day of work I’ve ever had, Altair. That’s what I can’t stand.”

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